Down and almost out

I have to admit something that disgusts me.  I am on a real bad swing of self-disgust.  I hate my fatness.  I hate feeling like I have no energy and that I'm a big blob of waste.  I cry every day, and hate it when I have to see anyone, or rather when anyone sees me.  I know the no energy thing causes some of my problems and is actually caused by my physical problems, but I also feel so very lazy.  I sleep, wake up, eat breakfast, fall asleep, wake up, go out with the dog and feed the horses. then come in and eat a small lunch, then fall back asleep, and so on.  It seems like I sleep my life away.  On days where I don't sleep as much, I tire myself out and the next several days are shot.  Now today, my day was shot and I feel like crap.  I have a cold and I am totally exhausted and so short of breath. And I'm feeling sorry for myself.  My cousins won't talk to me on facebook.